Chapter 7: Perfect Nightmare


I tried not to think about Layla but every time I saw her face I thought of Tiffany.

“Come on Tiff! Why are you doing this to me?”

I looked up to heaven. I started to cry again. I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I’m still in love with Tiff and having her mini me isn’t helping… There was a knock on my door. I answered it. Speak of the devil.

“What’s up?”

I looked at her

“Can we talk?” She scooted in.


"I…i don’t know what to say…" she sighed.

"Say about what?" I looked at her straight on for the first time since she got here.

"um…tell me about her." she sat on the couch.


"the girl."

I clenched my jaw.

"What are you talking about?"

She fluttered her eyes

"I heard u screaming her name in your sleep."

I bit my whole bottom lip then sat next to her.

"Her name was Tiffany Marks. She was the love of my life." I looked at her tears already swelling up in my eyes.

She held my hand as i told her my life story.

"So what about you?"

"Um…I think I gtg.." she faked looking at her hello kitty watch. Then started to get up. I grabbed her arm.

"Wait no… I told you now tell me."

She looked at me biting her lip. She bent down and kissed me lightly.

"Maybe over lunch or dinner."

And just like that she was gone. I sat back and put my hands behind my head. I couldn’t help but think about her more and more.


I started to go back to my room when Rih game out of hers.

"Hey." she waved me over.


"come on."

She pulled me in her room. Rita and Aubrey…I mean Drake were sitting on her balcony.

"Are you ok?" She looked me straight in the eyes. 


"Ok. Good cause they were talking about replacing you cause you cant seem to pull it together but, I like you so i put in a good word. So don’t worry."

I crinkled my eyebrows what was she talking about? Who was trying to vote me off the island? She probably is saying this cause someone told her about the airplane scene. What game was she trying to play?

"Ok thank you."

"Np now get some rest and keep it together."

I just nodded then went to my room. Someone knocked on my door before I could even sit down. I fixed the pillows on the couch.

"Come in!"

I turned around and saw Micheal.

"Can I still come in?"

Hell no. He came in before I could say it. I guess he asked out of courtesy.

"Look Lay…" I sat crisscross on my bed.

"I’m sorry."

I looked at him.

"Oh your sorry now? Were you sorry when you fucked Keisha? Were you sorry when you left me in the hospital to die? I…I"

I started to cry. He came over and sat next to me. I cried on his shoulder.

"Im sorry bby…"

I shivered. Baby…. That word. That meaning of affection, a child.

"I have to tell you something…" I said without looking at him.


"I was…pregnant…"

My stomach dropped. I looked up at him to see his reaction. I had been holding this in for years. It seemed as if the lord didnt want me to have kids. I lost them so much it seemed as if..they were dropping like flies.


"I’m sorry.." I said scared of what he was gonna do. I got up and went to the window and folded my arms. I heard him get up I expected him to leave. I guess that wouldve been better but, instead he came and wrapped his hands around me. He smelled the same. His body felt good against mine. I turned around and out my arms around his neck. He put his hands on my waist. We touched foreheads.

"I still love you…" I whispered.

He pulled back. I looked up at him.


I tried to search in his eyes to see what i did wrong. He shook his head then backed out the door. I was startled. I just told him my biggest secret and started to weep.


I sat back on the couch and started to think about her when someone knocked on my door. It was Robyn.

"Can I come in?" She said it in her serious Barbados accent. She knew that made me horny but right now I couldn’t feel anything. The spark I mean.


She came in and laid out on my bed.

"Can we talk?" she said sternly.

"Sure why not?"

I sat on the trunk at the base of the bed. She took a deep breath.

"Do you love me?"

I sighed and clenched my jaw. I did love Roby but recently I’ve been thinking about someone else…

"I dont know…"

She just nodded.

"Do you want to take this slow?"

I didnt even have to look when she said this. She meant me and her the “it” couple (before i bashed her face in.)

"I dont know…"

She nodded again like she was marking off a mental check list.

"Do you love Layla?"

I stopped. My heart started to beat 10xs faster. The sound of her name already made it flutter but what came out of Robyn’s mouth was something different. Why did she care? She only uses her and I feel like she’s using me too.

"No! Wtf?!?!Y r u playing 20 questions with me??!!?!? Man get out."

I pointed to the door. I needed time to think. She slowly got up not letting her chin fall. I knew i just gave her the answer everyone was waiting for. I was in love with a stranger.